January 2012
After these debates I come to only one conclusion:...
Yup, I said it.
Do I really need to vote for one of these guys?
“I’m your sixth grader on a Friday, I’ve got all the news.”
ION, please stop living blogging Colbert and...
You are ruining all the good stuff!
I DVR-ed it and now I just don’t know what do, you’ve removed all the elements of all the suprises…
Sorry aaron, but you just cant do this to me!
“Last night, the candidates squared off in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, which...”
– STEPHEN COLBERT, The Colbert Report (via inothernews)
Anyone want to play the buzz word game?
I’m feeling nostalgic here…
“I’m not black, white, or anything…I’m uhh,...”
– Samuel L. Jackson
Act of god? →
Ohio’s Jesus statue is latest religious statue to be struck by lightning
…It appears God has sacrificed his only son. Again….
Scotch... in a can! →
Scottish Spirits Is Now Offering 8 Shots Of Scotch Whiskey In A $5 Can
Read more: http://dailycaller.com/2012/01/09/keepin-it-classy-scotch-whisky-will-soon-come-in-a-can/#ixzz1j7XBqjBN
A medical exchange
Doctor: Go home and strip your bed and wash your sheets. You have a spider in your bed and need to get him out asap.
Me: Its a man! I've got a guy in my bed and your advice is to get him out? Why would I want to do that?
Doctor: Ugh. It might be a female spider.
Me: So now you think I sleep with women?!
December 2011
8 inches! I'm at 8 inches!!
What every Jew wants for Chanukah...a Christmas...
How much should I be giving my doorman for...
Why is growing up this hard??
MOMMMYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!
I almost went missing..
Rita: Its been an hour and I can't find Nechama
Mom: Last I spoke to her she was in Bloomingdales...try there?
***
Rita: I can't find my friend, can you page her? I think she is lost?
Bloomingdales lady: How old is she?
Rita: 25
Bloomingdales lady: Does she have a disability?
Rita: Ummm. Well her cell phone died and she doesn't know where she is going and she is lost.
Bloomingdales lady: I don't think we can do that?
***
Rita: Nechama is lost. What do I do?
Amy: What? How is she lost? Where did you leave her?
Rita: Well, according to facebook at 2:44 she was in Santa Monica at Coffee Bean. And at 1:46 she was in Venice beach.
Amy: Huh? You weren't with her?
Rita: I had work...she wanted to go rollerblading...
Amy: Wait a few minutes, I'm sure she will show up...
Rita: But its been an hour and its dark and she is probably hungry!
Amy: Umm, maybe wait a bit more? I'm sure she can handle herself.
Food so good. Me so tiny.
Belly hurts.
Hollywood just beat 420 by a longshot.